Love Letter November 1st

I know as I write this that I am the first man you have ever loved, for so you have told me. I will always wonder why you stood by me when everything seemed to go from bad to worse. But I love you for it. Because when I pushed you away you refused to believe my pointless attempts to keep you away from me. I did not know many things about myself back then, but I did know that if I let you into my heart you would have left a hole on my side I would not have been able to fill. And you did. So I had to do what I had to do, what every desperate man does when he has nothing left to lose. I clung to your memory until I had no more energy to think and fell asleep.

Now as I see your pictures and realize you will be married to me, I can not help but think back to the days I would not have you back. I feel happy and at the same time I am afraid. Because I want to be the one who makes you happy and I know that, silly and careless that I am, I will make some mistakes. But I love you, and I faithfully hope that when you see how much I really do, you do not think that I would ever do anything to hurt you.

I can only dream about the day when I open my eyes and I found out I have awakened before you have and I will see you next to me. Your things will be mixed with mine in the car, in the kitchen drawers and I will find supermarket notes in my pockets from things I did not buy because you borrowed my jacket. I am just a big dreamer that dreams of a life with you.

I know you think I do not trust you, but I do. I am entrusting you with my life, with my entire dream of having a happy family, with taking care of me, our children, our home, and possibly even a dog. So do not ever think that I do not take you into consideration. Because even though there is no paper saying that everything I own also belongs to you, I treat my things as if they already did.

I Will Always Be With You